Category Archives: Verandah Porche

DYSFUNCTIONAL LIVING, WITH and BY VERANDAH PORCHE

Cuppa tea?

1. THROW ANOTHER BLOG IN THE STOVE

To the band: Frigidity. Walk me out. Blurt. Chill. Keep company.

“One must have a mind of winter,” wrote Wallace Stevens splitting for the Keys of Florida. Mind Winter. Month of the Wolf Moon. Midnight scored with wind “feels like -33.” Read crucifixion. On the flank of the stove, St. Hubert prays to the stag he planned to kill till its lucky antlers sprouted a cross. You have no cross to bear, having fed its final splinters to the fire. Heat Slut, keep it tropical. Size up the kitchen chairs for sacrifice. Admit you love this slice of Siberia. Suit up in sable, felt and down. Bake potatoes for your pockets in the microwave.

Tic-tac-toe says the sleety snow. Nix logistics. Shovel in lasagna. Now, shovel-ready, choose a lubricant so drifts will slide. WD-40, Pam, Crisco, canola, chanukah candles, leaf lard? Wesson from latke party of 2003. And elbow grease. Huzzah for the blizzard. Heave high. Hi-ho. Where are the dwarfs of yesteryear: Speedy, Flaky, Doper, Munchy, Artsy, Dreamy, OCD?

Repose in motion. On snowshoes, ash and gut, you stride to the summit. Snow Sahara. Blaze of cobalt. Dunes of soft-serve. Greylock greets Monadnock. Slow plume snakes from the nuclear power plant, not dormant yet. In the valley, a log truck moans to the woodlot, With a light hand I’ve come to harvest you. In their great coats, the dogs beg and joke. Crack up. White laughter. In air the skin is fiction as tulips drop pink petals in the kitchen.

2. Seed Porn To the band: Reverie. Heady. Hands in the soil.

Sampled from Fedco, catalog of choice, quirky, gloss-free, p.c., sex-in-the-text. Repeat after me.

∑ Spice boys cinnamon basil

∑ Painted serpent cucumber

∑ Sugar buns sweet corn

∑ Fluffy ruffles poppy

∑ Kiss me over the garden gate

∑ Green meat radish

Green Meat Radish (55 days) Open-pollinated. Unique miniature daikon with striking lime flesh. grows 6–9″ long and 1–3″ thick. Exposed shoulders blush a deep green while the tip remains white. Fine-grained, crisp and sweet “distinct green apple flavor.” for cooking, pickling on homemade bread slathered with butter. O, green meat radish keep firm in my root cellar till May!